Saturday, 13 June 2015

When firsts become lasts, and you don't even realise

Our son had a shower tonight.

This might seem normal to you, except for the fact that he normally has a bath with his sister.  But tonight, he wanted to shower.  On his own.

It struck me that he's growing up, and is no longer a young boy.  He'll be seven later this year, and the preference for showering on his own I guess is the start of a long line of independent behaviour that we've been waiting for, for so long.

I think the last times seem much more poignant than the first times.  Of course first teeth, steps and words are moments to remember (in a sleep deprived haze), but I'm wondering how we remember the lasts, when they happen without us realising?

Has our son had his last bath with toddler girl?  Will I ever need to wash his hair again?  Maybe next week he won't want to kiss me just before he heads off into his classroom with a spring in his step.  Or he won't instinctively reach for my hand as we cross a busy road anymore.  When will the last time I tell him to 'stop, look and listen' be?

And worse of all, he'll stop confiding in me about his day and all the good and bad things that happened, instead preferring to keep it to himself or talk about it with his friends.

It's all inevitable, I know.  And it's a sign that we're doing a good job, that he's preparing for one day standing on his own two feet.  I know this too.

But being a parent is a funny thing, you see.  I've longed for peace, space and to not be depended on by so many people for so long.  And now we're on the brink of getting some space back, from our son at least, I'm not so sure I'm ok with him being self sufficient.  My big, little, all grown up baby boy.

Please stop growing up quite so fast.

2 comments:

  1. They do need to stop growing up so fast don't they.....These last moments do go unnoticed until you actually think about them.....

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  2. Oh bless, I have no idea how hard this must be. I feel like shedding tears every time I realise the dog no longer wants so many cuddles now she's one, I'd be hopeless with kids X

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