Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Have women scored a spectacular own goal?

It's been a busy few weeks.  Scrub that, it's actually been a busy few years.  I seem to spend my days working, looking after kids, sorting the house/garden/bank/bills/everything out.

It feels like the bulk of family life falls to me.  I'm not complaining about my husband, who will always help when I ask for it.  But surely by anyone having to ask, it means they're responsible for it?  I can't be alone with this.

So I wondered.  Have women scored a spectacular own goal with feminism?  Is it now just expected that we do or are responsible for abso-bloody-lutely everything?

Think about it.

60 years ago, women probably went to and left school while they were in their teens, got married, had children and looked after the home.  Men worked and looked after the finances.  School was somewhere kids went, not a community and playtime was in the street/garden/park.  No Mum needed.

For the last 10-20 years, women are expected to go to school, university, develop their careers, take on joint mortgages, have kids (shame only women can do that bit), go back to work, manage the house, organise nursery, take an active role in school life, manage finances, shop around for cheapest energy suppliers, balance the weekly shopping budget (top up shop to minimise costs anyone?), entertain the kids, nurse the kids, play with the kids, read to the kids, cook (making sure everyone gets their five a day, no sugary snacks now), clean, iron and be social secretary for everyone.  Not to mention maintaining a sense of self, keeping up with Downton Abbey and somehow, somewhere, maintaining friendships in that list.  Oh, and I almost forgot the small matter of 'pinging' back into shape and looking great in a bikini too.

In my experience, most men continue to go to work, and now play a more active role in their kids' upbringing.  Period.

There's no doubt life is more complicated for both men and women now, and I have simplified it all somewhat.  But does feminism now mean women are just expected to do and achieve even more?  Being pregnant (aka growing a new human being) and having young kids is hard enough, should we really expect women to work, do and achieve everything else on top of that?

Is the 'choice' we now have, really any choice at all?

I'd love to know what you think.

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